I can't seem to make me mine.

So I've been watching almost non stop "Community". New tv show on my list! So sad, I've even fallen in love with my Ikea bed. I think I miss feeling loved and feeling someone actually cares about me. Oh well. Changing sad subjects, classes start on thursday and I can't wait. Lighting, photoshop, art history... I really need to keep my mind busy and distracted from my stupid thoughts. Sofia is arrived to the city yesterday and we'll get to have a girly diner here, isn't that awesome? Oh, I didn't mention Monica left. We felt really bad, I really did but well, I'm happy to have the apartment free again. Friday, we will host our apartment warming "party" or gathering or whatever you want to call it. I plan on disappearing and hide in my big closet and talk to my (way too many) shoes. I'm not feeling it. Camila is super excited about it but I'm not really into the idea of having a bunch of people I don't really know that well coming here. I'm not even sure I care about anyone else than Max & Sofia. And well, Juanma, my ex. But he doesn't care about me anymore so I'm not sure how to feel about him. So yeah. I'd rather have a casual diner or something but bummer.
Also, I really really really need to do some editing work, write on my lovely paper diary and work on some birthday presents. Oh, and I started ice skating again. Turns out I surprisingly didn't forget everything I learned over the summer.

Lost like an octopus that is not an astronaut on the moon.

I really don't know what's up with me these days. I might need love, don't know. I've been feeling more and more disconnected of the world, absent. I don't fit, my thoughts fly away from home. Today I woke up to some strawberry jelly toasts, moody songs and a long lazy day. Oh, I made my first bolognese and I'm proud to say it tasted so good. We also got rid of all the bananas rotting in our fridge. We have now a huge banana bread and some banana milkshake. Yummy and fatty and I don't need that right now. I got my butt out and went to Safeway, skyped with Andrea, cooked, socialized with Max and even had diner and wine. What a productive day, except I ended up lying down on Pierre (our sofa bed), with my warm blanket on starring at the reflections on the window and my full glass of wine. I hope I can feel better when school starts. Motivation might hopefully brighten things up a little. I'm missing something and I don't know what it is. That sucks.

Some more news: Monica totally forced her way into our house for a couple of days. She'll be sleeping home until she can move into her new place. I really don't want to have a guest in my living room right now. I just want to sleep, be super lazy, walk around in my pajama, and not socialize. Good thing I can't say no to her.